In the last 10 or so years, I’ve figured out an easy way to determine what kind of friend someone is. A Friend Test, if you will.
Do you want me to succeed even when you’re not succeeding? Do you want to see me happy even when you’re at your most UNhappy?
I once was out with a friend who had a few too many drinks and proceeded to tell me how hard it was for her to hear about any of my successes. But that hearing about my struggles was good and helped her a lot. After that night, I never hung out with her again. She did not deserve any of my time or attention.
I had another friend who would respond to my frustrations & struggles with, “Oh that makes me feel so much better!!” She looked forward to hearing about the obstacles in my life. I have since phased out that friendship. She did not deserve any of my time or attention.
Friends who only want the best for us when things are going great for them do NOT deserve any of our time or attention. I have phased out countless people in my life because they did not pass this Friend Test.
Instead, I choose to surround myself with people who cheer me on no matter how small the success. Who want me to level up and be the best version of me even when they feel stuck in a rut. Who feel genuine happiness for my happiness. I hold a high standard for my friends and I make sure to hold myself to that same high standard. This has resulted in some pretty amazing and meaningful friendships.
Ladies, let’s turn this culture of jealousy & competition around. There’s no need for that. Choose to surround yourself with real friends. These are the ones who will add the most to your life.
💗 I challenge you to think about your closest friends. If they fit this description, they are special, rare spirits who deserve recognition.