From 4th grade until I graduated high school, I struggled with bullying. My frizzy hair, the fact that I did well in school, my height, my weight, the fact that I was involved in my faith- these were all topics regularly picked apart and made fun of over the years. My weight was the most consistent one. It’s crazy to think that that period of time lasted about 8 years- 8 years out of my 40 year old life- and yet the effects of it still impact me today.
One of the greatest effects of that period was my fear of speaking up in front of people. Being ridiculed time after time has an inevitable result- I no longer wanted to share. I no longer wanted people to hear my unique perspective on something. I no longer wanted to offer my opinion on a topic. Because the fear of ridicule has now consumed me and the possibility of facing it makes sharing no longer worth it. Not worth the looks, whispers, and comments. Feeling like this day after day, year after year, eventually silences a voice.
An outlet I found during this period of time was writing. When I wrote, I didn’t have to worry about social repercussions. When I wrote, I could fully think through my ideas and put them together perfectly- without eyes staring at me, without my nerves jumbling these thoughts. I found success in writing and it turned into a skill I took pride in.
As a teacher, my absolute favorite subject to teach is writing. And, over the years, that has satisfied me- sharing my own writing through my instruction. Not too long ago, I turned 40. And with that came a vow to completely step out of my comfort zone this year every chance I got. Maybe amazing things would come as a result. Since that vow, I have used this blog as a way to share little bits about my life and offer my perspective on topics I think will resonate with people. This has included..
❤️ positive self talk
💙 celebrating progress
💜 holding high standards for your friends
💛 prioritizing yourself
💗 choosing to focus on joy
🤎 ditching the Mom Guilt
🧡 having an identity outside of “Mom”
🖤 establishing a morning workout routine
❤️ stopping the “tomorrow mentality” (aka procrastinating)
It is my hope that some of the posts will really resonate with you and that you’ll revisit them in the future. 🙂