Somehow an expectation has been created that we moms need to hand over our identities the moment we give birth. Whatever hopes, dreams, hobbies, interests, goals we once had must be sacrificed. We are mothers now. We must tend to our children. We must always be on-call for them. We mustn’t just put our own needs aside, but we must eliminate those needs all together. Our sole purpose is to provide, give, tend to, fix, help, and support. We are mothers now. This is what great mothers do.
That is a complete and total bunch of crap.
Never thinking of myself does NOT make me a fabulous mother. Instead, over time, it has the potential of leaving me feeling overwhelmed, unfulfilled, unseen, and resentful. Filled with guilt any time I did things for myself. It fosters that expectation in children that Mom is always at their beck and call. They are essentially entitled to my attention at all times.
This is not okay.
I can confidently say that I am an amazing mom despite not being “on call” morning, noon, and night. Doing things for myself essentially makes me a BETTER mom.
I get a second to just be Wendy. Not Mom, just Wendy. To explore things that get WENDY excited. Whether that be meeting up with friends, taking an exercise class, or sitting on the porch and reading. And let me tell you, after the alone time, I have that much more energy for my kids. My head is clear, and I am ready to resume my role as Mom.
My sons see me as someone other than Mom. They see me as a hard-working athlete. They see me as a loyal, thoughtful friend. They see me as an ambitious instructor trying to build a successful exercise class. Growing up around this will inevitably influence them. Their mom doesn’t just love and care for them. She loves and cares for herself too. That’s a powerful message that needs to be learned.
If you already make time for yourself, please feel free to comment in our Facebook group on how you’ve been able to regularly make that happen. And if you don’t, please recognize that you deserve it & make the vow to try and plan more of it. 💜