“Remember the days you prayed for the things you have now.”
My weight has fluctuated over the years, especially during the pandemic. Any time I’ve been heavier than I’ve wanted, my mind would regularly imagine a life where I’d once again feel secure and comfortable in my skin. Yet, when that dream became a reality, I’d spend little- if any- time really appreciating the accomplishment. Instead, my brain moved onto what else I didn’t have and wanted.
When I had my older son, I imagined a life filled with local mom friends. We’d support each other through the insanity of parenting & be sources of fun when breaks from being Mom were needed. Through Michael’s infancy, this dream didn’t come to fruition. I had my work/college friends, but no one closer to home. The thoughts of being part of a Mom Crew would regularly make mental appearances, especially when I’d see other groups of moms together. Why don’t I have that? I’d ask myself. Fast forward a few years, and I am part of a wonderful group of ladies. Truly fabulous and all I could hope for in a group of friends. Yet, how often do I allow my brain to truly focus on appreciating what I have? Instead, it hovers around what else in life I don’t have and want.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of always focusing on the wants.
Do any of these sound familiar?
I wish I worked out more.
I wish I ate better.
I wish my kids would play together more nicely so I am not always yelling at them.
I wish my job wasn’t so stressful.
I wish my spouse helped out more around the house.
All of these are legitimate desires. And it is absolutely okay to think about them. Maybe those thoughts will spark some positive actions.
What is not okay is to exclusively think about them & forget about all you currently have that, once upon a time, you used to hope for & dream about. Think about you 10 years ago. What blessings do you currently have that the you 10 years ago used to dream about having? Maybe it’s 2 independent kids that can function and have fun without you right by their side. Maybe it’s a professional accomplishment. Maybe it’s a close friend on whom you know you can lean on for support. Or maybe it’s a spouse who is a loving, active parent to your kids.
For many years I dreamt of helping lead a fitness program. Of being given an opportunity to help other people better their lives through it. Of showing women that they are more than just Mom. The goal motivated my every gym workout. Now that that chance is here, no matter how stressful life can get, I will absolutely be spending some of my thoughts on the fact that I did this. I refuse to let that amazing realization be a fleeting thought.
Every one of us has a choice on what to focus our thoughts on. What do you regularly choose? Are you constantly harping on what you wished you had, but don’t? Or do you make sure to spend time recognizing all you’ve accomplished and currently have?
Be more mindful of that self talk. No matter what, there is always something around us we can feel good about and proud of. Don’t let those things become fleeting thoughts. Soak them in, regularly revisit them. Train your brain to both see and appreciate them. In time, it will become easier and more automatic. Let the current blessings dominate the current desires, resulting in a life filled with much more gratitude. 💙